


Test Drive (a.k.a. Penis Car)

by bondageluvr



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Borderline crack, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:36:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bondageluvr/pseuds/bondageluvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Seb pick out a car. Seb is skeptical of Jim's choice.<br/>Slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Test Drive (a.k.a. Penis Car)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fawnsyowl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=fawnsyowl).



> Dedicated to my lovely fawnsyowl, who requested this prompt. Sorry it turned out so... cracky.

“Boss, this is a penis car.” 

“ _Excuse me?_  Tiger of mine, would you please repeat what you just said because I think I heard you sa-,”

“This is a  _penis_ car. A car for those who need to overcompensate.”

Jim pouted as he was practically pulled away from the Corvette and whined, placing his hands on Sebastian’s chest: 

“But it’s pretty.”

The sniper only rolled his eyes and nodded towards the car disdainfully, eyeing it as if it were the most fowl creation of man’s hand on the planet: 

“It’s non-functional. Horrible motor, noisy, non-bulletproof, which, in your case, Boss, is  _pretty fucking important_ , and it has an automatic.  _I_ don’t drive an automatic. Which means this car is practically going to stand around the garage taking up space. Thank God we don’t pay taxes. Or have insurance.”

“I can drive it,” Jim said quietly. Sebastian look at him for a moment, stunned, and then threw his head back, roaring with laughter:

“Sure.” He placed his arms around Jim’s smaller shoulders, practically cradling the other man in his much broader grasp: “You know, if I told anyone the great James Moriarty didn’t know the gas pedal from the breaks…”

“You  _wouldn’t_.” 

“Oh, I  _would_.”

“Then I shall have to skin you,” Jim answered maliciously before cocking an eyebrow at the sniper: “One test drive.”

“ _Boss._ ”

“Tiger.”

“Magpie.”

“Bastian.”

“Fine.  _One_ drive. Then we go and tell this… unauthorized reseller of yours that we need a  _normal_ car.”

***

“Let’s see how much of a penis car this really is.”

***

“Boss, I’m driving.”

***

“ _Gah…_ Sebby, please don’t kill us before I finish this, it would really hurt my ego.”

“F-f-fuck… Boss… With all.. Uh… Due respect…  _Nothing_ can… oh God, hurt your… fuck, do that again! … Ego.”

***

“We’ll take it.”


End file.
